Over the last 14 years, I have bought what must amount to about 80 vehicles, 100+ if you count parts vehicles, motorcycles for sure. Often times, when these transactions occur, the process begins with an online ad. Be it Facebook, eBay motors, Auto trader, Car gurus, or even the odd forum, there’s usually something that starts the ball rolling for you, when you may or may not have had any intention of buying another car. Truth be told, Most of the time when I buy a car, it is a link that is sent to me by a friend or a client that had overheard me talk wistfully about a certain model, make, year or even color of vehicle at some point in the past. These messages often flood in  at night, just before or just after bed via text message, email shares of Craigslist postings, or the odd Google hangouts message.

That all seems pretty normal, find an ad for the car you want, contact the person to arrange a time to see it and drive it – if you like it, do some dickering on price and see if some middle ground can be found before exchanging a sweaty wad of cash or crisp cashiers check for that all too important piece of tamper resistant green paper we know as the Minnesota Certificate of Title and (hopefully) multiple sets of keys before driving off, plotting the cars future. Honestly, that seems pretty normal because it is. For a used car bought and sold between two private parties, at least in this part of the world, that’s all it is. The process is very straightforward, and it is an easy to follow path of events.

Car guys though, we don’t work the same way. There’s no paging through consumer reports to see how people rate the third row space, how residual values look for trim packages, what the towing capacities are, etc. When we see a car we want, whether or not we knew beforehand that we wanted it, the reaction isn’t akin to shopping for a nice refrigerator for one’s house, it’s much more aligned with catching a glimpse of a beautiful woman (or man, if that’s what floats your boat) out of the corner of your eye – it’s love at first sight. Great! Much easier to get a hold of. Cars don’t have feelings, they don’t have rights and they don’t typically judge too badly. Just hand over the cash and.. oh, wait. The car isn’t for sale.

This is something I’ve encountered just a few times in my endeavors of car buying, and to a lesser extent, selling. What if the owner of the vehicle you desire to buy is not interested in selling it, it’s not ‘for sale’? Just because the vehicle isn’t listed for sale does not mean you can’t buy it, but the whole process is completely different. When you find a vehicle like this, there’s no well written ad which covers condition, basic specifications, vehicle history or its needs. These are now all questions fielded directly to a person, a person who will likely become overwhelmed quickly and lose interest in considering the idea of naming a price for their prized four wheel transportation vessel.

Starting off, small talk. Making your interest in the car known, and intentions behind the interest. Discussing common interests in and out of the car world.. Leaving the first meeting without discussing the actual act of sale, or pricing. Letting the iron in the fire lose it’s red glow, and then touching base yet again, this time more or less asking if they’re willing to consider selling to you, a suitable prospective owner that will keep the vehicle in as good or better condition, not ruin it by changing the aesthetic or mechanicals significantly enough, or out of line of how the current owner would have themselves had time, space and money allowed. Sometimes you’ll get a no, but more often than not you’ll get a yes, and having previously established that trust with the seller means they’re much more likely to sell the vehicle at a reasonable price, which might even constitute a loss for the seller because of that trust now in place.

After that agreement, the transaction takes place just like any other used vehicle transaction. Sometimes there’s an open communication line, sellers check in with buyers to see progress on builds, restorations etc. Often times though, the two parties part ways permanently though.

I have bought 3 vehicles that were not listed for sale — all three of them were BMW M3s. Two were E30, one was an E46. Reflecting back on all three of those purchases while writing this, the process is oddly similar. Initially, you’ll get a very receptive response. During the chit chat phase while looking over the car and talking through its history, you’ll get a retracting seller, likely remembering a slew of bonding moments and memories with the car. I’ve found it is very important to not discuss price in the first meeting, or even necessarily willingness to sell. That decision is emotional and takes time. Once it has been made though and the second meeting takes place the money in hand is the only real sticking point that makes the transaction take longer than the average car purchase. That final bout of ‘once I pick that cash up, that car over there isn’t mine anymore’. Hopefully, at that point, if you’ve become good enough acquaintances and have built up that trust, the barrier will be easier for the seller to break down and quell their own reservations when handing over the keys and title

I know I’ll run in to a situation like this again in the future, but probably not before 10+ automotive transactions take place the regular way before hand!